Although October was Domestic Violence Awareness Month, R&B singer Ashanti and her baby sis Kenashia “Shia” Douglas are taking a seat at Jada Pinkett Smith’s red table to detail Shia’s traumatic experience with domestic abuse at the hands of her ex-fiance, Windsor “Slow ” Lubin.
Lubin, who also goes by the nickname Slowbucks, co-founded an entertainment company and clothing brand by the same name. He and Shia dated for 13 years, publicly announcing their engagement on Instagram in 2016. On the outside, the pair looked inseparable and deeply in love. However, in 2020, Ashanti posted a video on Instagram shockingly revealing to the public that her sister was a victim of abuse. In the video, Ashanti alleged that Slowbucks not only beat Shia to the point that he left her bruised and broke her teeth, but his constant abuse also caused her to miscarry their unborn child.
Since going public with her story, Shia has continued to share her story, becoming an advocate for other domestic violence survivors.
On Wednesday, Nov. 23, Shia, Ashanti, and their mother, Tina, joined hosts Jada Pinkett Smith, Willow, and Adrienne Banfield Norris on their Facebook Watch show ‘Red Table Talk’ to discuss Shia’s past relationship. Ashanti also opened up about feeling helpless and wanting to take matters into her own hands.
According to Shia, she and Slowbucks met when she was 18 or 19 years old and the relationship started on a fun note. He showered her with the “attention and gifts” that made her feel special at the time. However, things took a turn and throughout the years, he became verbally and mentally abusive.
Shia believes she was “connected” to her abuser because of the “childhood trauma” she experienced being the sister of a celebrity.
“I wanted to fill a void,” she admitted. “The inner child traumas I experienced were kind of…I would say, because of my sister’s career, her actual album came out on my 13th birthday. Like literally on my 13th birthday. It was an exciting time for the family, however, at the age of 13, that’s when you come into yourself.”
She continued, “And what I’ve found is trauma is not only something you go through or experience, it’s something you’re also lacking as well.”
Shia says the physical assault from Slow did not begin until the pair reconnected following a brief breakup. Suddenly, he was attacking and controlling more than before.
“I took him back and he began to grow suspicious of what I was doing during our break,” said Shia, eluding that Slowbucks was under the assumption she had been seeing other men.
“He began to become very, very jealous, very angry, controlling even more than he had already been,” she continued.
One day, things took a turn when hit her in the face during a disagreement. She believes he planned to assault her because the window blinds were down, which was unusual.
Shia says she was able to escape to a neighbor’s house and call her mother, but did not call the authorities because she was so mentally abused that she felt a need to protect him.
Shia got out of the relationship safely, but the pair reconciled after he promised never to touch her again. Unfortunately, he broke that promise and proceeded to physically abuse her.
Shia hit her boiling point after he punched her in the mouth and shattered multiple teeth during a minor talk. She left and never looked back.
“Prior to hitting me, he made threats. He had said things like ‘I’m going to this to you, or I should do this,’ and I never believed it,” the 33-year-old said. She also revealed that the threats, verbal, and mental abuse caused her to miscarry her child while four months pregnant.
Ashanti and Tina Douglas joined the Red Table to share how the experience was a dark time for their family, especially since they are usually very private. According to Tina, witnessing the toxic relationship was the “hardest thing [she] ever did in her life.”
Things became so frustrating for Ashanti that, at one point, the R&B singer, who is admittedly non-violent, was very close to showing Slowbucks what the “murder” in Murder Inc. Records was all about.
Ashanti Grabbed A Bat To Defend Her Little Sister
In a Red Table Talk exclusive, Grammy Award-winning R&B star Ashanti reveals how she took matters into her own hands after receiving an alarming phone call from her little sister, Kenashia “Shia” Douglas. Tune in Wednesday for the full story.
Posted by Red Table Talk on Monday, November 21, 2022
“Listen, I’m not a violent person, but when that call came in, as an artist, you have resources, and sometimes…” the songstress hinted. “And it’s like, you know, I made the calls. You know, and to be honest with you, her being the amazing person that she is, didn’t want to take that route.”
Ashanti also recalled a time where she came after Slowbucks with a bat after receiving a call from her sister.
“I was like, ‘Oh, nah.’ I went to the garage. I got the bat. I pulled up in the truck. I had petroleum jelly. I was ready,” said Ashanti. “I was by myself, ’cause I had the adrenaline. ”
Because of the severity of the situation, they initially weren’t sure about Shia sharing her horrific experience.
“No one gets a book on how to handle this,” the R&B singer said.
Since many women may be in a similar situation, they supported Shia for being courageous enough to tell her story in hopes of encouraging someone else.
Research shows 45.1% of Black women have experienced physical violence, sexual violence, or stalking from their intimate partner, while 40.1% of Black men experienced those abuses.
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.