‘Prince of Pegging’ Trends With ‘Prince William Affair’: Why

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Photo Illustration: The Cut; Photos: Getty Images

Poor Prince William, never doomed to escape rumors of that business with the Marchioness of Cholmondeley nor of his alleged inability to type, though it is the former that concerns us today. “Prince William affair” was trending on Twitter yesterday in conjunction with a much more eye-catching hashtag that suggested Britain’s future king has already been crowned the “prince of pegging.” I know what you are thinking: When did the queen hand out that special favor?? But actually, the British public bestowed this title.

Before we go too far down this road, though, I should note that William’s purported love of pegging — which is to say, having a cis woman (probably, based on the forthcoming context clues) penetrate him anally with a strap-on — derives from pure speculation. Nothing here comes remotely close to being confirmed. Naturally, the Cambridges have not commented on nor acknowledged the hashtags, and again, I must emphasize that it’s not clear William even knows how to use a computer. At the very least, though, I can tell you how we got here. Maybe you would like to know.

In short because celebrity-gossip-slash-PR-account DeuxMoi ran a rare royal blind item this week. Like all the other blinds on DeuxMoi, it is unverified and quite possibly rubbish, but here’s what it said: “This is so salacious I’m almost too shook to share with you (but will anyway). This British royal’s extramarital affair is an open secret in London and amongst the English artisto set, and is the talk of every party and newsdesk. At a recent media party, I was told the real reason for the affair was the royal’s love of pegging, which his wife is far too old fashioned to engage in. The wife doesn’t mind her and in fact prefers her husband getting his sex Needs met elsewhere, as long as things don’t become emotional, which was the case with the last woman.”

Of course, there are a couple of royal husbands who could potentially fit this bill, but only one can be the “prince of pegging” (ie, the hashtag that started trending with #princewilliamaffair after this blind went viral). People suspect William because of the flap with the Marchioness.

So glad you asked. In 2019, the Sun reported on a supposed feud between Kate Middleton and her “turnip toff” neighbor, former model and current Marchioness of Cholmondeley, Rose Hanbury. Hanbury and her husband, Marquess of Cholmondeley (pronounced “Chumley”) David Rocksavage, live in Norfolk near Kate and William’s country estate Anmer Hall, and the Sun was saying that Kate had come to see Rose as her “rural rival” — and not just because, as Gawker has pointed out, Rose looks almost exactly like her. According to the Sun, Kate wanted to excommunicate Rose from the turnip toffs over some “terrible” and “well-known” falling out. the Sun didn’t give reasons for the fight but other outlets did: Lainey Gossip wrote at the time that “rumours of an affair between Will and Rose have been simmering,” only “no one wanted” to name the possibility “out loud.” No one except British reporter named Giles Coren, I guess who tweeted and then quickly deleted that “everyone knows about the affair.”

Shortly after the Sun’s report was published, the Daily Mail alleged that both parties were considering legal action over the supposed falsities, though none ever materialized. Still, this rumor had staying power and seems to be the reason some people think William is looking outside his marriage for partners who will peg him and that Kate is fine with that so long as she doesn’t wind up with another Marchioness of Cholmondeley situation on her hands.

Again, the pegging rumor is itself baseless! We are plumbing the mind of an unnamed rando of questionable motivations! But looking at the British line of succession, we can identify a handful of possible candidates and eliminate one guy — the perv Prince Andrew — who fails to meet the blind’s basic qualification of having a wife to care about his affairs. Below, our possibilities, ranked from the most to least likely based on the speculation at hand:

Prince William, for the reasons outlined above and also by process of elimination. Hard to imagine him having sex, but ok!

Prince Edward, ie, the queen’s youngest child and the current Earl of Wessex. Honestly, I don’t know much about this guy except what I learned from Tina Brown’s latest royal biography. (Basically that Prince Eddie has a knack for non-iable business ventures and once followed Prince William around the University of St. Andrews with a camera for a documentary he, Eddie, was making.) Does he love pegging? Maybe! Couldn’t say!

prince harry, who is famously married to Meghan Markle and just as famously stepped back from his official duties as a senior royal years ago. Mainly because of that decision, I doubt his personal life qualifies for “open secret in London” status (Harry and Meghan live in Montecito now) or that an alleged love of pegging would be “the talk of every party and newsdesk.” Then again, the British tabloids do seem to have it out for his wife, so maybe certain newsdesks are making up gossip about the internal goings-on of their marriage.

prince charles, who is next in line for the throne. The main reason I don’t think this gossip refers to Charles is my genuine belief that if anyone were hypothetically going to peg him, he would insist it be his wife, Camilla. A personal opinion based on my own subjective impression of their situation, of course, but then this man unwittingly went on the record as saying he would settle for being Camilla’s tampon if it meant they got to be together. And Camilla, for her part, doesn’t strike me as especially “old-fashioned.” She is said to be a good sport, generally speaking, described by Charles as being “jolly good” and “down to earth.” Next!

Prince Philip, who would be at the top of my list if he hadn’t died last year. Otherwise, he would arguably be a perfect candidate: His rumored infidelities are widely known, which would check the “open secret in London and amongst the English artisto set” box. I can also see the queen (who does usually present as “old-fashioned,” hologram excepted) turning a blind eye to this one so long as it did not narrow the serious feelings for another person. The only problem here is that Philip is dead. Unless?

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